Jules was part of Les Cinq Filles, you remember, from the Annie Bio? In a lot of ways Jules was worse than Annie. Unlike the other girls, Jules lived in my dad’s neighbourhood, which meant her family had a freestanding house with a white picket fence. I remember the day they got that fence. It was right around the time I went over to Jules’ house to play, the first time we hung out without the other girls. We had a great time, I think I was there the whole afternoon. The highlight was baking cookies for her dog, and when I left I remember making plans with her to try out new recipes, a dog bakery for our one client. The next Monday at school I found her and Annie looking at me and with the “she’s such a loser eyes.” Later Annie made fun of me for the dog cookies. I knew Jules had had actual fun, that’s when I figured out Jules was not my friend, she was playing both sides.
Unlike with Annie, Jules and I didn’t stay friends growing up. Jules didn’t really change, she stayed sidekick level mean. I remember in grade 7, she yelled to me across the sports field “Jane did you get your period yet?” in front of the whole school. She was doing some sort of tally and hadn’t heard that I had actually gotten mine first. It pays to be a January baby. So her attempt at embarrassing me that time failed flat, it actually got me respect.
Later Jules moved into affirmative action mean. By this time we were already adults. Pre-drinking before our first high school reunion at a mutual friend’s place, one of the girls I wasn’t friends with brought out an old collage. It was filled with pics from the high school days. I wasn’t on it, nor did I expect to be. I had a different friend group in high school but our host that evening overlapped us. Jules immediately pointed out that I wasn’t on it: “Oh look at our silly eye-brows, Jane you never plucked yours did you? You we’re so much smarter than us!” The girl who brought out the collage looked super guilty and uncomfortable, she knew what Jules was doing. I shrugged. My eye brows are in style now thanks to Cara Delevingne. Poor Jules never had the power Annie did, I wonder if it bugged her to be perpetually b-level mean?
I feel obligated to point out the one time I did see cookie-baking Jules again. It was in grade 7 and one of the boys in class had written a song about me. With the help of my girlfriends as it turned out. Apparently the popular girl was pissed I was flirting with her boyfriend but sine she had no song-writing talent of her own had roped in a few others to write the lyrics. The tune was to Aqua’s Barbie Girl. To give it some context, the boy I was allegedly flirting with was the same boy Annie had inadvertently ratted me out to in grade three. With my usual friends singing this song on repeat I started to wonder around the courtyard alone. I didn’t get very far because Jules and another girl I’ve always liked came up to me and said “that song is so mean, you can hang with us.” So I did for a couple days, until the song blew over. That was really cool of Jules I have to say. If your curious about the song’s lyrics I remember them in perfect detail.
Jane’s a valley girl, in a valley world
Life with Jane, it’s a pain
When she talks she whines, she does it al the time
Her mind is blank, she’s a skank.